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Memories of God: Murder and Something Greater

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The images of God were colorful and inviting. The problem was they looked more like a fairy tale than a description of the creator of the universe. I begged God to give me faith. God didn’t. Every night, I prayed for something. I found silence. There was nothing there. Finally, I realized I was praying to a God that I didn’t believe in. I walked away. Though everyone talked about getting saved, the only thing I wanted to get saved from was all of the bullshit at church. I was drowning in it. Countless times, I reached God. The silence slapped me back into place. I’d never felt such a sting. The violence continued. There was no God. There was only pain.

 

Later, I realized why I don’t believe in God. Any God that can be explained by theology is not God. Any God that can be manipulated by prayer is not God. Any God that has control over the entire universe is not God. While I could go on forever, I was wooed back to spirituality when I realized that I believed in something far beyond the God that we promote. There is no God. There is only something greater.

 

Though I have many memories, I’m glad God’s dead. Now, I can engage the mystery of the ultimate in spirit and in truth.

 

Amen.

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