An Interpretation of the Christmas Story
In the days of Texas Governor Greg Abbott, there was an old minister named Bob whose partner was named Tommy. For many years, the couple had wanted a child and now they were old. One evening as Bob was alone praying for a child, a bright light came over him. Standing and turning, Bob tried to run away. The light would not let Bob go. In that moment, the light began to speak, “I love you. You do not have to be afraid. I want you to know that you are about to adopt a child and her name will be John. She will bring good news of salvation and liberation to the world. The child will be queer beyond imagination and filled with the Spirit of God.” Bob couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “How will I know that this is true? Don’t lie to us. We are too old.” The light responded, “I am Gabby and I stand in the presence of a God that is queer beyond your wildest imagination. I have been sent to tell you that the queerness that flows from our God will fill up your daughter John. To make the situation queerer, I have been told to take away your power to speak until the day these events transpire.”
When the light appeared, the doors slammed shut and the windows closed to lock Bob in. Tommy heard all of the commotion and ran downstairs. The neighbors heard everything and rushed to help. After some time, the door slowly opened. Bob walked out with a really intense tan and covered in glitter. Everyone tried to ask him what happened, but Bob couldn’t speak. Tommy ran a tablet over and Bob typed out that a daughter named John was on her way. The two men embraced and jumped up and down. The neighbors couldn’t figure out what was going on and decided that the couple must have really lost it this time.
After a few months of nesting in faith, a Child Protective Services (CPS) agent named Marina called to ask Tommy if they would be interested in adopting a little girl named John. Although the child did not meet any of the identity criteria the couple had previously and perhaps selfishly asked for, Marina thought she would try. Bob knew that he had heard the voice of God and this was the child of their dreams. Marina was shocked when Tommy replied with an emphatic “YES!” for both of them. She was even scared to tell them that it was still going to be some time before their little girl John would arrive. However, nothing could dampen Tommy and Bob’s excitement. Tommy told Marina they would wait forever.
Months later, Gabby was sent by God to a queer woman named Mary in a town called Dallas. While Mary’s partner Josie was at work, Gabby appeared to her in a great light, “Hello! God is with you.” Mary was deeply perplexed. Gabby replied, “Do not be afraid. You are chosen by God to conceive in your womb a child named Jesus. The child will be the child of God who shows the world the power of love.” Mary immediately replied, “How can this be, I only sleep with my partner Josie?” Gabby replied, “The Spirit of the Queer will come upon you. The love of God will overwhelm you. The child will be queer. The child will be the perfect Queer of God. And even right now in their old age, your cousin Tommy and his partner Bob have a daughter named John they are going to adopt. Know that nothing is impossible with God.” Mary fell to the feet of Gabby and declared, “I love the Queer and I will do whatever God asks of me, may your words be accomplished and more.” Gabby dissolved in front of her.
A few days later, Mary went up to Denton. She went directly to Bob and Tommy’s house. Mary met Tommy in the driveway and greeted him with a loud shriek of excitement. Right after a collective embrace, the phone rang. Tommy picked up the line and Marina asked if he would briefly like to hear John for the first time. On the other end of the phone, Tommy could hear a little baby cooing and he began to cry tears of joy. Then Tommy was filled with the Spirit of God and he cried aloud, “Mary you are indeed carrying God! The fruit of your womb will be the queering of all nations. Who am I, that the carrier of the Queer shall visit me? Did you see that? As soon as you walked up, I got to talk to my little daughter John for the first time. That was no accident. You brought God into this space. I know that the promise of God, the promise of the Queer is going to be fulfilled in you.”
And Mary said: “My soul rejoices in the queerness that I have found. For my God has found me. I rejoice in the savior of my life. I rejoice in the Queer. I am so unworthy of a miracle of God, yet God dwells in me. From this day forth generations will count me queer, so wonderful is this God-granted discovery. Praise be to the creator of queerness. God’s name is Queer. The queerness of God endures from generation to generation. The keepers of normativity will be restored to their queerness. The hungry and poor will never want again. God will stand on the side of the Queer forever.”
Mary stayed with Tommy for about 2 weeks and then returned home.
Not too long after, the time came for Tommy and Bob’s daughter John to arrive. The entire community knew how much the couple wanted a child and rejoiced to God with flowing champagne. Unfortunately, Bob was still unable to speak.
When it came time to baptize the child, many tried to ask Tommy if he and Bob wanted to change the name of the child. “Don’t you know that she won’t know her gender identity if you name her John? Plus, who exactly are you naming the child after?” The group gathered for the baptism motioned for Bob and asked him one last time about the child’s name. Bob typed out on his tablet, “Her name is John!” All were amazed. Immediately, as he displayed the tablet, Bob’s tongue was loosened and he began to speak, praising God. This queer series of events scared the shit out of all of Denton. Everyone wondered, “How did Bob lose and gain his ability to speak? If this child is chosen queer by God, what will the child become?” There was no question that the hand of God was upon them.
Then Bob began to speak words of justice and peace, “God loves us. God has redeemed us. God has raised for us a queer savior. God will save us from the keepers of normativity and make us queer. God is unfailing in God’s love and you my daughter John will be called the prophet of the Most Queer, for you will go before God to prepare God’s way and give knowledge of salvation to all people. The queerness of God will dawn on us, to give light to all who dwell in darkness and death, to guide us to the place of peace.”
John grew and became strong in spirit, and she was in the wilderness of Denton until the day she appeared publicly in Dallas.
While Mary was incredibly excited about the coming of baby Jesus, Josie couldn’t figure out what was going on. Regardless of Mary’s story, Josie felt like Mary must have cheated on her with a man. Now, Josie felt unsure of Mary’s sexuality or basic identity. Josie decided it would be best to break up with Mary privately, as she was not interested in having a dramatic public break up. Not long after Josie made her final decision, she fell asleep and began to dream. A bright light appeared to Josie and said, “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife forever, for the child conceived in her is from the Spirit of God. She will bear a queer child and you are to name the child Jesus, for Jesus will show the world the danger of normativity. The child shall also be called Emmanuel or ‘God is with us.’ Now, go and make her your wife.”
Mary and Josie were married soon after.
During that time, President Barack Obama sent out an executive order stating that the entire nation should register. This was the healthcare registration and was taken while Greg Abbott was Governor of Texas. So all citizens went to their hometowns to be registered. Since marriage was difficult in Texas, a pregnant Mary had to take the chance of ignoring the decree for legally unmarried persons to go to their hometowns and followed her wife Josie on her journey from Dallas to the town of Cooper Creek, because Josie descended from the Coopers. Feeling vulnerable and longing to be married, Mary and Josie went into town to get married before the baby Jesus was to be born.
At the clerk’s office, Mary and Josie were treated poorly. Mary felt a tremendous amount of pressure in the lobby and her water broke. The baby was coming quickly. Mary and Josie raced out of the building and sought a place for Mary to have the child. After being rejected at the hospital due to a lack of insurance, Josie tried to get a room at the one hotel in Cooper Creek. The hotel manager said that the hotel didn’t usually allow lesbians, but that he would open his barn to the couple for free. Upon arrival to the barn, Mary collapsed with loud cries and Josie helped deliver the child.
Right outside of Cooper Creek, there were migrant farm workers living in the fields, keeping watch over their crops by night. Then an angel appeared in the sky and light filled everything. The migrant farm workers were terrified. The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I am bringing you good news of great joy. Tonight, for you is born a savior in the city of Cooper Creek. This is how you will find the child…let the spirit guide you to a child wrapped in cloth in a manger.” Then all of a sudden, thousands of angels filled the sky praising love and declaring, “Glory to God in the highest and peace and goodwill to all.” When the angels departed, the sky returned to dark. The migrant farm workers looked at each other and said in unison, “Let’s go and see this miracle that God has revealed to us.” Running, the migrant farm workers found the baby lying in the manger.
Mary and Josie were holding each other next to the manger. By this time, some kind hotel workers had arrived to try and help. The migrant farm workers recounted all that they had seen and the gathered people were amazed. Mary silently pondered all the beauty in her heart. The migrant farm workers returned to the fields glorifying and praising God for all they had experienced.
After eight days, Mary and Josie decided to baptize the child. The migrant farm workers joined Mary and Josie at a small creek. This was the only space available to them. A radical local minister poured water over the child’s head and declared his name Jesus. The gathered cheered the queer events.
Mary had to heal a bit before they were able to travel for the dedication. When the time came, Mary, Josie, and Jesus traveled to Dallas. Upon arrival, they went to the Cathedral for Jesus’ dedication. Outside the Cathedral, there was an older homeless gentleman named Simeon. Many years prior, Simeon had a vision while in a drug-induced stupor. God told Simeon that he would not die until he met the Messiah. Guided by the Spirit of God, Simeon tried to enter the Cathedral. Unfortunately, suspecting Simeon of being a drunken panhandler, some of the hired security guards would not let him in. God told Simeon to go to the side door of the Cathedral. When Mary and Josie brought Jesus forward to be dedicated, Simeon took hold of the child to the surprise of everyone. The security guards tried to rush Simeon, but, sensing the Spirit of God at work, Mary called them off.
Praising God, Simeon declared, “Savior, you may now dismiss your servant in peace. Mine eyes have seen your queerness and know that your salvation is the salvation of all people. I have waited my whole life to hold this child.”
Mary and Josie were amazed at the events that were transpiring. Simeon blessed them and declared, “This child will be the liberation of all. The queerness of many will be revealed, especially in you.”
As Simeon finished speaking, an old bag lady named Anna stood and began to praise the child. Anna had lived in the Cathedral for many years, praying day and night. “Jesus is the redemption of all people and in this queer we will all find our queerness.”
Mary, Josie, and Jesus left the Cathedral and made the journey to Ponder, the place they had chosen to settle down.
A few years later, monks from Asia showed up in Dallas, “Where is this queer child who has been born to be ruler of all nations? We observed the star in the sky and wanted to pay homage.” When Governor Greg Abbott heard about this, he was frightened, and all the powerful elites of Texas with him; and calling together all of the religious leaders, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born. They told him, “The child was born in Cooper Creek.” Then Governor Abbott called in the monks and learned from them the exact time that the star had appeared. The Governor then sent the monks to Cooper Creek and said, “When you find the child, send me word and I will come pay homage to the child.” The monks left and continued to follow the star until it stopped over the place where Jesus was. On entering the apartment, they saw the child with Mary and they knelt down to worship. Then, opening their suitcases, they offered the child gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The beauty of the moment was overwhelming for all involved. After a night of celebration and drinking with Mary and Josie, the monks went to sleep on a blow up mattress in the living room. In their sleep, God spoke to them and warned them not to return to Governor Abbott. The next morning, after saying goodbye and encouraging Mary, Josie, and Jesus to be careful, the monks evaded the Governor and traveled to Oklahoma City and flew through Canada back to Asia.
A few nights after the visit of the monks, an angel appeared to Josie in a dream and said, “Get up and take Mary and Jesus to Mexico. Remain there until I tell you that it is safe to come back. For Abbott is going to imprison every child in Texas he thinks might look like Jesus and try to destroy their spirits in the Texas Prison Industrial Complex.” Josie, Mary, and Jesus left immediately and made it to the border of Mexico by morning. Not having any identification, Josie and Mary bought water at a gas station and traveled through the desert, taking turns holding Jesus on their backs. The family settled in Monterrey. This fulfilled the prophecy, “Out of Mexico I have called my child.”
When Governor Abbott realized that the monks had tricked him, he became enraged. The Governor imprisoned all children that he thought might look like Jesus. Governor Abbott stole the lives of these children. Most of the state didn’t seem to care or notice, as Abbott consistently imprisoned and executed innocent people. This fulfilled the prophecy, “The unquieted tears of mothers will reveal the injustice of the system.”
When Governor Abbott left office, an angel appeared to Josie and said, “It is now safe for you to return to Texas.” Josie, Mary, and Jesus were denied entrance at the border, due to their lack of documentation. So once again, the family had to make the dangerous trip through the desert. Exhausted, the family arrived in Brownwood and spent the night, before returning to North Texas. Josie had a dream that warned him to avoid Dallas, because there was a mayor there who refused to support queer families. In turn, Mary, Josie, and Jesus went to Ponder, Texas. The prophets words were fulfilled, “He will be called a Ponderian.”
Jesus grew queerer with each passing moment.
Today, the miracle of queerness still lives and the dream of a world made queer will never die.